


Forty

by StormyBear30



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars, Music RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2017-10-21 19:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/229018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Shannon’s fortieth birthday.  He and Tomo have a talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forty

Rubbing his head, Shannon tried to will away the throbbing that had been lingering there all night. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked at the clock, it telling him that it was just past midnight and that the party raging downstairs was going to go on for quite a while longer. He knew that he should have been grateful, knew that he should have been downstairs celebrating his birthday with his friends and family and yet he found himself sitting in the middle of his bed in the dark and praying for all of them to just go home. He rubbed his head again, wishing that he had been smart enough to bring some pain relievers with him when he had snuck away, but not willing to go back down and deal with the mass of people in order to get some from the kitchen cabinet. “Fuck…” He sighed again, closing his eyes as he mind began to wander despite his best efforts to stop it.

He was forty and for all intents and purposes he was practically an old man. He tried to remember when he got so old so fast and how it was that the years just flew by him before he even knew it. It wasn’t that he was unhappy with his life, far from it in fact, but he still felt as if after forty years of hard living that something was missing. The problem was that he knew what it was; he just didn’t know how to achieve it, if he could achieve it.

“I knew I would find you up here” He heard a very familiar voice speak as he looked up and found his best friend standing in the doorway. “I just figured that you’d be fucking some young hot stud or studette” Tomo laughed as he stepped deeper into the dark room, sitting down on the bed beside him. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you downstairs partying you ass off with all your friends and family?”

“I just needed a moment to myself” Shannon replied, rubbing his forehead again.

“Shannon….you can have all the moment you want later. There is a kick ass party going on downstairs in your honor and you are missing it” Tomo grabbed onto his friend shaking him for emphasis.

“Just another thing to add to what I’ve already missed” Shannon murmured under his breath, pulling away from Tomo before falling backwards with a grunt.

Tomo didn’t know what to make of the situation, deciding that he needed to be there for his friend in hopes that he would tell him what was going through his head, because there was no doubt in his mind that something was weighing heavily upon him. Lying down beside him he closed his eyes and waited for Shannon to speak. He found that he didn’t have to wait long as Shannon turned to his side, taking a deep breath before beginning.

“Do you ever feel that you’ve missed out of some of the important things in life due to our lifestyle?” He questioned, taking a breath, before speaking again. “Do you know what I mean?” He knew that he wasn’t making any sense by the puzzled look he received in reply.

“Like what?” Tomo asked, confused at what Shannon might be getting at.

“I don’t know…” Shannon sighed in frustration. “Love…marriage…kids”

“You’ve been thinking about that?” Tomo laughed, thinking that Shannon had to be joking. “Jesus Shannon…if anyone is a commitmentphobe it’s you”

“I’ve been in a committed relationship before” The drummer defended, shooting Tomo a dirty look.

“Who…with that chick from the TV?” Tomo asked, trying to recall a time when Shannon had been with someone for more then a short amount of time. “You were with her for what…a couple of months”

“We were together for almost a year Tomo…it just didn’t help that we were on the fucking road for most of it”

“What are you trying to say Shan…that you wanted to like…marry her” The words felt foreign and strange on his tongue as he sat up and looked down on his friend.

“Maybe…I don’t know…no” Shannon belted out, hating the fact that he had brought up the subject at all. “I know she wasn’t the one…but I’ve been thinking lately that maybe it’s time to try and find that one person…time to maybe think about settling down and having a family”

Tomo wanted to laugh because he knew it had to be a joke, but at the sad and distant look upon Shannon’s face, he knew it was anything but. “Shannon…your life is wonderful. You have a career that you love. People adore you. You have money in the bank…a lovely home and friends and family that would give up everything to make sure you were happy. Are you so unhappy with your life Shannon?” Tomo asked, hating the idea that the man who was his best friend in the entire world might be.

“No…not so unhappy” He smiled, thankful that he had Tomo there to listen to him, knowing that he wouldn’t judge him for anything said.

“Don’t worry Shan…you’re an amazing guy and the right person is out there waiting for you and when it happens it’s going to be so worth that wait” He smiled, lying down next to him again.

“You think so?” Shannon asked such hope in his eyes.

“I do” Tomo smiled again.

They sat in silence for a bit, each lost in their own thoughts before Shannon spoke up once again. “Have you ever been in love Tomo?”

“Yeah…once” Tomo replied with a hesitation to his voice.

“Vicky?” The older man asked, an edge to his voice that he tried to hide, but couldn’t.

“No…not Vicky. I mean…I thought that I loved her…but it wasn’t mean to be”

“Who was it then? If you loved them then why aren’t you with them?”

“He never noticed” Tomo replied sadly, closing his eyes for a moment in order to hide the sadness he knew to be there.

“He never noticed?” Shannon repeated, shocked that anyone could be so stupid as to not notice how amazing Tomo was. “What a stupid fucking idiot. “Did you ever talk to him…try to tell him…ask him why he was so fucking stupid?”

“No…we’ve just always been friends. I tried to give him signals and signs but he never picked up on them”

“Do you still love him?” His jealously grew even more as he waited for the answer.

“Yep…I do. He’s a pretty amazing man. I think that I fell in love with him the first moment that I met him” He smiled, remembering that fateful day.

“You should tell him how you feel…should ask him why he didn’t see what was right before his very eyes” Shannon cried out towards the retreating figure leaving the room.

“Yeah…you’re right I should” He said with another sad smile. “Hey Shan…” Tomo spoke, standing in the doorway hesitantly; hand on the doorknob as he stared across the room.

“Yeah…”

“Why haven’t you seen what was right before your very eyes?” Tomo asked, eyes locked on stunned hazel ones before he turned to leave, closing the door slowly behind him.

The End…


End file.
